Trading places
by Xee Metallium
Summary: Xelloss gets punished by a bodyswap?! Poor Filia!
1. Oh no! Why does this happen to me!

** Disclaimer:**  
I don't own slayers. The only character I own in this fic is Author-san ^^;; 

* * *

_A dark and stormy night, three shadowy figures sit playing poker at a table by candlelight.... A shovel, a huge quill pen and a few bottles of wine litter the room. _

_Zelas: I'm rather concerned, everytime I see my Xelloss lately, he's been distracted in one way or the other by an annoying Golden Dragon.   
Lord Of Nightmare: Oh really? That's authors for you  
Author-san: Don't look at me, you two deal with it  
Zelas: Author-san, if you help me punish him, I'll let you have some of my wine.  
Author-san: *prods LoN* This'll be fun. What shall we do Zelas?  
Zelas: Here's my idea...*whipser whisper*   
LoN/Author-san: *huge grin and nod*   
LoN: *Waves her shovel and a huge scream is heard from Cepheid's world.....*_

***** Wolfpack Island*****

Xelloss, everyone's favourite purple headed Mazoku (favourite unless you happen to be Filia, or some other strange golden dragon) wasn't looking too genki today. Not in the slightest.

He'd just been yelled at for screwing up a mission. And it wasn't his fault! 

It just so happened, that anytime he had to do anything that involved going on the physical plane near humans, a certain blonde dragon, namely Filia, seemed to pop up. 

And teasing Filia was irresistible.

Of course, Xelloss wouldn't blame his sense of fun for distracting him. No, it had to be Filia's fault for being there. 

He wondered what his punishment would be this time. Last time Zelas had ordered him to Stack potatoes and peel the wine. 

Which he'd done to the exact word.... and gotten in more trouble. 

For the mean time, he figured he should await his next one in Random City.

*****Random City's infamous Random Inn*****

Filia admired her beautiful new dress in the full length mirror. It was a powdery blue and very flattering.   
But it really clashed with her violet hair. Her short... violet hair.... and black cape... 

"XELLOSS!" she yelled at the mirror "You're not funny! Go away!" 

Xelloss, was doing a very good job of imitating her every move. Filia turned angrily and snatched up her white boots to put on, on top of the brown ones she was wearing.

She looked back at the mirror, blinked, then stared.

When she felt brave enough, she touched her hair.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! I LOOK LIKE NAMAGOMI!!!!!!" 

*****Random City Library - aisle: Random- Randomness*****

Xelloss was starting to get a bit agitated with all the people, mostly humans, the odd beastman, and occasionally Mazoku looking at him. For some reason, it was making his face heat up. 

The book he wanted was on the top shelf. 

Funny, he thought, that wasn't normally too hard to reach. He just managed to get the book, but because it was awkward to reach, it fell to the floor and landed by his white booted feet.

White...

Boots...

Xelloss to a very quick glance toward his chest... he was a she. 

And he feared that wasn't the worst part. 

Catching his reflection in a nearby window was enough to make his tail pop out angrily and he ran to an inn so he could 'study his current predicament more closely' 

Filia ran down the inn stairs clumsily. She wasn't used to being so tall. 

She also didn't see the shorter blonde running up the stairs, keeping low desperate to not be seen. 

The two crashed into each other.

Xelloss was the first to drop his jaw... 

"You..."

Filia stared confused at Xelloss.

Somewhere in Xelloss mind, a little lightbulb lit up. He figured it out. 

"NAMAGOMI!" He yelled, trying to grab mace-sama, however he couldn't quite find it and ended up grabbing his tail instead and whapping Filia/himself hard across the face with it. 

Filia fell back from the attack and landed on her bottom, not hurt, but just off balance.

"Xelloss?"

"That's you...." Xelloss replied, trying to catch his breath after running so hard, and then yanking his own tail so painfully. 

"What do you think you're playing at Namagomi?!" The two yelled at each other.

Xelloss let himself have an inward smirk. 

'I'm good at keeping in character...." he told himself, before finally managing to locate mace-sama, failing to pull it out. How did she do that?! 

Filia gaped at Xelloss.

"Keep your filthy hands away from me!" She yelled slapping him, unhappy that the gloves she now wore softened the slaps effect.

Xelloss' lifted a hand to his slapped cheek in shock. That really really hurt! 

"They're your filthy hands! He retorted, running into the room he'd just booked and locking it. 

Filia did much the same. 

"Why the hell does this happen to me?!" they both exclaimed at the mirrors in their rooms. 

  



	2. The discovery of a different type of Foo...

"So, I'm Filia now?" Kept buzzing through the mazoku-now-female-dragon's mind. He took the opportunity to investigate little unsolved mysteries... such as the mace-garter mystery. "Very clever... Very very clever...." he muttered. Now, if you can imagine Xelloss, in Filia's body, holding his/her dress up well above the waist, and studying Filia's 'underskirt arrangement' now is the time to imagine it, because, that is when the maid came in to clean the room.   
  
The maid went bright red and backed out of the room slowly.   
  
She didn't go quite as beetroot as Xelloss did. That faded after a while as he recalled the maids face though, and fell over backwards laughing. Happily snickering away he lay on the bed until an alarming grumble came from somewhere in the depths of his new body.   
  
"What is this sound?" Xelloss asked himself, sitting on the bed waiting to hear it again.  
  
***  
  
Filia stared at herself in the mirror. She could she the reflection of a Xelloss floating slightly off the ground. She tried to get her feet on solid ground, but some how her weight toppled and she was floating upside down. Filia in Xelloss body much resembled a kid who couldn't swim.  
"maybe I have to will myself to be heavy to stop floating." She tried that, and that took her plumetting to the ground. "Too heavy all over! must get lighter!"   
  
This had the effect of sending her floating upwards like a child balloon.  
  
"AUGH! This is too hard! If only I had mace-sama to weight me down. I got it! Lead soled boots!" Well, that worked! Filia floated to earth and landed on her feet.   
She decided she needed to find that body-stealing namagomi pronto. And began searching the inn. Before long, she felt weakened and dizzy, but still determined to find Xelloss and her own body, she plodded through the inn.   
  
One door was slightly open, she peeked through, to see her body, lying on the bed groaning.  
  
"It hurts.... why won't it stop?" he asked, seeing Filia arrive at the door looking tired.   
  
"Hurts?" Filia replied, stumbling over to the bed. She stopped when she heard a stomach rumble. "You have to eat now!"  
  
"You're one to talk." he replied, sitting up, thankful he had the info to cure the pain. "You have to feed too."  
  
"I thought mazoku don't eat?" Filia asked, after some thought.  
  
"But we feed." Xelloss told her, standing uncertainly and making his way to the restaurant at the bottom of the stairs. "I'll tell you how, but I need to stop this rumbling!"   
  
Filia floated down the stairs after Xelloss. He got a table and waited for his meal.   
  
So eating for fun had come in useful, he knew how to tackle this.  
  
"how did this happen?!" Filia demanded.  
  
Xelloss shook his head in dismay.  
  
"No Idea." This was a downright lie. He was certain this was his 'punishment'. But telling Filia that wasn't a good idea.   
  
His meal arrived and was demolished, as he explained between mouthfuls, how to feed as a mazoku.  
  
"So, I got to go and find someone who's feeling bad, and wallow in it?"  
  
Xelloss nodded.  
  
"Well, you could do that. Not the best way... you wouldn't like that."   
  
Filia had a good idea what this meant, and set off in search of her meal.   
  
She found it easy enough. She was amazed how receptive a mazoku form was to surrounding feelings. Once she felt better she went looking for Xelloss again.  
  
Zelas snapped her fingers. She'd just thought of something.   
  
And Filia, in Xelloss' form appeared before her.  
  
_________________  
like it? please Review! that makes me write more sooner! 


	3. Visit to the secret Island

Author-san: oh, man...   
LoN: Zelas... Really?   
Zelas: Why not?   
Author-san: *snicker* Poor Filly-chan!  
  
***  
"I've been calling and calling and calling!" Zelas yelled, waving her arms around in annoyance. "Why ignore me? I told you last time, I don't expect to have to call more than once!"  
  
***  
Xelloss was now learning the after effects of eating too much of the wrong type of food. He had a massive icecream binge not so long ago, and felt awful. Incidently, he'd heard Zelas screaming for him, but was unable to respond, which was a little stressing, but, Filia would bear the brunt of that one... although he'd thought Zelas had done this.  
  
confusing.  
  
He set off for random city library, cursing Filia's outfit. Hopefully in random city library, they'd be a cure for what he called "The damn bodyswap curse" Of course, that meant resigning himself to hours of poring over books to find what he wanted.   
  
Pacing the aisles of the library, Xelloss looked for the right section, but when he did find it, an alarming sound and grumble came from somewhere within, that sent the Mazoku-in-dragon-maiden-body scurrying to the bathroom as a matter of urgency.  
  
***  
"And... What were you doing?! Following that no good Dragon girl around! Thats what I see! Now get out of here and back to Random City!"  
  
Filia twidled her, or rather Xelloss' fingers as she turned and made her escape from the room.   
  
A good question popped into her head. Just where was 'here'? And if she didn't know where 'here' was, how could she get back to Random City?  
  
Filia was wandering the depths what looked like a stately home perhaps? Whatever it was, the owner sure liked luxury. For the most part, it was decorated in plums, golds, black and olive green. She kept looking around until she reached a window, then pulled the wine red curtain across to look out at the island.  
  
The outside wasn't as impressive as the inside... it was messy, reminisicant of a battleground. The sea was chopping and frothing madly where Filia looked to her left, and yet was super calm to her right. She dropped the curtain and tried to figure a way out of the building.  
  
***  
  
"Just a minute!" Xelloss yelled for about the 5th time at the sound of banging on the bathroom door. He could understand now why the guy outside would be so desperate, but Xelloss, being as bloody-minded as always, just decided to take that little longer.  
  
Once finished, he skipped out of the bathroom grinning... just to annoy those outside, and was met by several odd looks. He suddenly figured out what it was for and kept smiling too until he got out of their sight, tugged the dress back down and made a mental note not to use the Men's Lavatories again, whilst in a female form.  
  
Now it was time to go back to the books.  
  
  
***  
  
"Studying the nice weather today?"   
Filia jumped. She hadn't been prepared fof a mazoku lord to suddenly appear behind her. But it seemed Zelas was as interested in the storm they stood in as she was.  
  
"It's umm... interesting...." She replied nervously, comforted by the fact the Greater Beast wouldn't hear as the wind whipped the words away.  
  
"It certainly is." Filia was suprised by the reply, even through the breathtaking wind and distant growl of thunder, the Mazoku's voice was as clear to her as ever, and it seemed, her hearing was as equally talented. "Still, I'm glad you didn't go shooting off to Random City immediately, it would be tiresome to have had to call you back again. Since that dragon girl is there, I want you to do something else as well. I'm working on a spell, and for it I need the tail of an adolescant female golden dragon." She paused and gave Filia a fang filled smile. "I decided that Filia-lizard will do fine - just bring me the tail. I don't want a lizard dirtying this place."  
  
Filia's eyes opened like saucers  
  
"You want me to cut off my own tail?!"  
  
Zelas cocked her head to oneside and her lips curled into an evil grin.  
  
"I didn't quite catch the last of that... but yes, Filia's tail." She narrowed his eyes and spoke on with a lower, threatening voice, which she could still hear with perfect clarity over the storm. "I assume you haven't got a problem with that. I won't hesitate to destroy her if she causes you to be disobedient. So get back there now."   
  
Zelas snapped her fingers and teleported Filia into a well hidden aisle in Random City library, where Xelloss snapped the last book from a huge pile shut in despair.  
  
"No luck?" She asked, looking over his shoulder at the front of the book.   
  
"None." he told her getting up and going out of the building. "Where did you come from?"  
  
"I dunno." Filia replied scratching her head. "Some island... dank and stormy on one coast and subtropical on the other."  
  
"Wolfpack?"   
  
"I guess so." She mummbled. "Does Zelas always teleport you around like that?"  
  
"No... I'm smart enough to teleport myself around. What did Zelas-sama want, anyways?"  
  
"Now, that, is a secret!" She said.   
  
"Stupid piece of... hey! I need food!" And with that Xelloss ran off Lina-style to a restaurant, leaving Filia to ponder what to do about her tail. 


	4. A possible cure

"Mphh nmmum mmhhpi! mmhyus!"  
  
"Eh?" Filia sipped a glass of water.   
  
"Mpphhukku!"  
  
"nope. Don't get it." Filia shook her head and snatched Xelloss' food. "Try speaking once you emptied your mouth."  
  
  
"I thought of something." Xelloss said, snatching the food back. "They say there's a fountain, the water from which can cure curses and reverse spells. I mphin..."  
  
"Food." Filia Sighed.  
  
"I think thats our best hope."  
  
"Sounds it" Filia replied, picking at the food. "Where is this fountain anyway?"  
  
"Well... That is a secret." He said.  
  
"This is neither the time nor the place for that!" Filia said through Gritted teeth, leaning closer toward her own body.  
  
"Relax! It's so secret that even I don't know... that's all." Xelloss flicked a small sweatdrop from him. "But I know someone who should know."  
  
"Oh, let me guess... Lina?"  
  
"Yup. She'd know of this. Greed often knows more than age."  
  
"Well, where is she?"  
  
"restaurant?" Xelloss suggested.  
  
"What one...?"  
  
"Erm..."  
  
"Erm indeed!!" Filia exclaimed hitting Xelloss on the head with Staff-sama. "If you're going to suggest things... at least make sure they're useful!" She bashed him again for good measure.   
  
"Itai!" Xelloss exclaimed standing up to retaliate, tail angrilly sticking out, giving the people behind the mazoku in dragon body and good view of Filia's panties. Which Xelloss had neglected to change since the swap had taken place.   
  
"Sit down." Filia growled, suddenly remembering that she'd been asked to take her own tail back to Wolf Pack Island. "Tell me something... how patient is Zelas?"  
  
"Not very." Xelloss replied, tucking back in to his meal. "If ever."   
  
"Well, thats good news." Filia sighed.   
  
"What did she ask?" Xelloss asked with a narrow eyed look.  
  
"Sore wa himitsu desu!" Filia excliamed indignantly.   
  
BASH BASH BASH! Xelloss had finally managed to work out how to free mace-sama from it's hidey place.  
  
Filia cringed and then picked herself back up from the unrelenting attack, glaring back at Xellos.  
"Does that actually hurt you?"  
  
"sore wa himitsu desu!" he replied, in response to her having stole his quote from earlier. " I don't actually have to tell you anything.... namagomi."   
  
"Then I shan't tell you what Zelas-sama said." Filia replied tauntingly. "I shan't tell yoooooou!"   
  
"Oh well, I guess I can adapt to living like this." Xelloss said with a shrug. "By the way Filia-chan, you should have worn more revealing clothing. After all, what I've seen isn't half bad!"   
  
Filia tipped the table up and walked out.   
  
"I can find a way by myself."   
  
"Just one minute Filia!!" Xelloss called, scrambling from under the table and running after her. "Hey come back here you stupid dragon! Get back here!"   
  
"...no.' Filia replied flying into the air. She was getting quite used to this, but it would have been more satisfying if she'd learnt to vanish.   
  
"Filia!!! Get back down here!" By now, Xelloss was in a fully-fledged Filia temper, fangs bared and tail straight out. "Get back now!! Filia!! Filia!! Filia!!"   
  
"Nah..." Filia returned coolly, coming to rest on top of a church spire.   
  
"THIS IS NO TIME FOR PETTY REVENGE!!" Xelloss yelled stamping his feet. "UNLESS YOU WANT TO STAY LIKE THAT FOREVER!!"   
  
"Let me think about that." Filia said with a smile. "Well, now I'm thinking about it, this is kind of fun."   
  
"AUGH!! JUST GET DOWN HERE NOW!!"   
  
By now the mazoku's yelling had begun to attract a bit of a crowd. Most of them were standing behind, examining something...  
  
"Filia! Come on! stop it! FiliAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"   
  
"Filiaaaaaaaaaaaah?!" Filia asked herself, watching her body transform to it's dragon form and begin stomping the townspeople. "Filiaaaaaaaaaaaah?" She shrugged and hopped off the spire and landed head first on her own head. "Oops. Umm... Xelloss.... Stop it."   
  
"They pulled the tail!" He screeched. "Do you know how much that hurts?!"   
  
"Yes I do." Filia responded in a flat tone, stamp one foot on the dragon's head. "Now lets move it and find a cure already. The townspeople are mad at you!" She giggled smugly.  
  
"So good.... Or bad!" He added hurriedly, seeing the townspeople approach.   
  
"Fly!" Filia prodded him.  
  
"Okay!!"  
  
Xelloss didn't do anything.  
  
"Fly!" Filia said again, coming to hover infront of the dragons face. "Fly!"  
  
"....how?"   
  
"Flap your wings."  
  
"...how?"  
  
"moving them up...and down...and up and down..."   
  
"...how?"   
  
"Well you umm... like you'd move you arm up and down."   
  
"And how would you describe how to do that?"   
  
"I don't know I just do it! So run then!"   
  
"I'm running I'm running.... you're heavy. Takes a lot of...energy to run like this."   
  
"You're.... I'm NOT heavy!" Filia yelped indignantly. "It's not my fault you've gotten used to weighing as much as an over-inflated balloon!"   
  
"I think we're far enough away now anyway." Xelloss panted, skidding to a stop and crashing through several trees.   
  
"Oh boy, that must have hurt."   
  
"It did!" The dragon roared, stomping back. "Now how do I change back to human form?"  
  
Filia sighed. Explaining this was going to be tough. She pulled out a quill pen, some paper and a tea set and began the task of explaining.   
"After all, " Filia thought to herself "if we are going to get anywhere with finding a cure, I can't have a big fat dragon crashing around next to me..... wait... I didn't really just think that did I?" 


	5. The mysteries of clothing

I suppose I ought to remind everyone I do not own any of the slayers *Sigh* Why? beacuse people might sue me. Wait, this is FANfiction.net, right? Doesn't the 'I don't own it bit' go without saying then.... etc etc....   
  
"How do you expect me to read that?!"   
  
Several birds decided now was a good time to leave the forest.   
  
"Oh come on..." The mazoku's sarcastic yet quiet voice scared away far more birds than the loud dragon yell a second ago. "It's your handwriting. Whats the problem?"  
  
"It is NOT my handwriting." My writing is immaculate." The dragon sat, loudily and clumsilly and tried to pick up the quill. "Stupid long claws.... They need a manicure or something."   
  
"Oh shut up and read this." The violet haired mazoku flew up and held a revised version of the script infront of the dragons nose. Who went cross-eyed trying to focus on it.   
  
"Filia... I can not read that when you hold it there." The dragon growled swatting Xelloss... well, Filia away and snatching the paper as it fluttered to the ground. "Doesn't seem too hard... umm..." He looked across at Filia, who had landed upside down against a tree and held the paper right up to her nose. "What does this say?"   
  
"The." She replied not even batting an eyelid. Being bashed backwards against a tree was a fairly new experience, as was landing upside down against one.   
  
"Oh righty oh. In that case...." The dragon began to shrink and take the form of a human. Filia was still upside down against the tree watching this. "There we go. Everything seems the right size now, more or less."  
  
The two stayed as they were, just looking at eachother.  
  
Filia blinked.  
  
Xelloss blinked.  
  
A tumbleweed rolled by.   
  
A breeze blew and the dragon girl shivered.  
  
"PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON ME!!" Filia yelled from her upside down position.  
  
"How?" Xelloss knew the key words to frustrating anyone who wanted you to do something were 'how' and 'why'. (alongside, 'what' ,'when', 'where' and 'sore wa himitsu desu' )  
  
"Will some on!" She yelled back, finally uprighting herself.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"To preserve my decency!"   
  
"What?"   
  
"So people and especially YOU don't see me NAKED!"   
  
"Why?"   
  
"Because!!"   
  
"I feel free! Oh, look at that..." Someone was suddenly distracted by him..no her... ah themself.  
  
"Quit looking at that!!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because it's MINE" Filia yelled, brandishing a great big branch. "Put some clothes on!"   
  
"When?"   
  
"NOOOOOOOOW!"   
  
The power-scream sent Filia's hair flying backwards. She abruptly stopped her power-screaming when she realised that was.... exposing the situation further.   
  
"I dont know how." he replied simply, looking up from his studies of the current body.   
  
"Then Find some clothes and put them on!!"   
  
"Where?"   
  
"Here."   
  
Xelloss looked up and was suddenly able to see nothing but black. He turned his head to look left. Black. Looked Right. Still black. looked up. Black. Looked down. chest... oh, and feet and grass.   
  
"There's some interesting stuff in here." Filia commented throwing Xelloss a copy of his regular outfit from his bag. "Will this fit me...uh.. you?"   
  
"It does."   
  
"When did you... never mind... Now then. About this spring?"  
  
"Fountain Filia, fountain. How can you find something if you dont know even what it is?"  
  
Filia politely smacked Xelloss upside the head as the two walked off towards the next town. 


End file.
